A polemic against the "Personal Development Industry"

Thank goodness for all those tools that I learned at that latest seminar. It was just the one seminar I was missing.

Now, I have finally figured it all out. For example, I now completely understand all women. Love is sooo easy now. But why bore you with the easy stuff.

After my personal development course on wealth I made $100 Million in two days. I would tell you how to do it, but then again, why bore you here. All you have to do is take the course.

Let's talk about the really easy part. Making absolutely all your wishes come true. I figured it all out. Actually, I was taught it by my personal life coach. But it's also "secret", so you better get the DVD. How come I didn't think of "it". Now I know everything.

I'm so happy that you have no alternative but to like me.

Animals even talk to me. I walk on fire. I have had so many out of body experiences that I'm running out of planets to visit. For variety, I just get colonics, because after all that's where all the shit is.

My chakras are perfect. I go to massages where no one touches me. After all, it's "network care" where they really care about fixing everything that's wrong with you.

I gave up meat and chicken and fish. Now the rabbits are going hungry because I eat all their food. That's why they talk to me.

I would tell you more but I think first you must want to change yourself. I could show you (for a small fee of course, aren't you worth the investment?).

I'm glad I changed my life. It's really good being me. I know it all.

Now, where did I put my keys?